Iz zz zzzz

Sloth

2012-02-09T19:42:00.003-06:00

Ok, I suddenly became really interested in sloths. They look weird (with longer arms than legs), but cute in some sense. And! The one in Ice Age is a sloth as well! except that it is an extinct species, called Megalonyx Sloth. I wikipediaed, it lived until 11,000 years ago. Here's a nice picture/imagination of it.

If you compare it with Sid the Sloth from Ice Age, you'll find some resemblances (ignore the video game part of the picture).

But sloths of today, who live in the forests of mid/south Africa have very distinct look (well, apparently because these are different species of sloths). Here's a clip from BCC. I especially like how he pronounces sloth with a British accent :P "A slo[eu]th in a hurry!...." (trying to make the entire situation mysterious haha).

Now I do realize that I have a peculiar interest in African animals on the savanna and in the forests. That must have something to do with my father. Since I was little, we like to sit in front of the TV and watch 动物世界 or the Discovery channel together. My father likes animals. He's raised kittens and even wild sparrows when he was little. (Now I am feeling nostalgic and homesick). I have this sudden impulse: should go to the African savanna to watch animals with my dad this summer! (Let me research first and see if it is feasible.)
I will post picture of a family of meerkats on the African savanna to end this post.

Trying to jot down my thoughts

2012-01-25T02:22:00.000-06:00

I'm getting worried again.. too much uncertainty in life. But isn't that what makes life exciting as well. Have to bear with that.
I was reading Sartre's "Nausea" today. The main character was writing about how he should keep diaries so that days and events won't just pass by and float away. Maybe I should do so as well, and try to keep record of whatever I did/saw/thought. But don't exaggerate everything.

假期 To Do List

2011-11-18T00:01:00.000-06:00

又是拖延到考试前一天晚上才开始复习...
现在居然还在拖延!
为了避免忘记,还是先给圣诞列个to do list比较好 :P
1. 去五云山看杭州最古老的树
2. 去云溪竹径看看变化
3. 吃麻辣烫!
4. 跟外婆学3个菜式
5. 看一本书
6. 去舟山吃海鲜!!!!!!
7. 练习游泳
8. 完成琐碎的申请事务

加油

2011-10-24T19:21:00.000-05:00

别的都不重要
但必须拾回信心和努力的冲动

Rejection phone call

2011-10-19T17:11:00.001-05:00

Life is hard.
But you've got to be tough.

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

忙

2011-10-13T23:40:00.002-05:00

感觉应该记录下

What doesn't change is change itself.

2011-10-05T03:58:00.001-05:00

弄完申请想睡觉前去瞄一眼人人, 看到刚上大学的表弟发表的有关"改变"的感触, 于是一冲动就上前留了一言:
那句有关改变的话我也听过,不过是英文版的,what doesn't change is change itself. 其实有这样的虚无感蛮正常的,不是因为你老了,是因为你长大了,要面临更多的transition更多的改变和选择. 就像我现在,整天忙里忙外申请工作弄了半天也搞不清自己到底要什么,就是因为我在从学习到工作的transition阶段,需要慢慢地一点一点的才能 figure out该走哪条路该怎么选择. 我虽然也算不上是有人生阅历,也还算是经历过不少改变,给你个小小建议: 不要害怕改变,只要坚持心中的原则,一切改变都不会让你失去什么,只会让你更加了解自己. (深夜做完作业在此有感而发一计嘿嘿 :P )

记录下来倒不完全是因为很臭美地喜欢自己的insight, 还因为感到自己现在平和多了, 也有爱多了. 以前和表弟关系平平, 对他的事情几乎不闻不问, 见面了也是礼节性地做个姐姐的样子. 不知道是该感到惊讶呢还是欣慰: 我也成了一个爱弟弟的姐姐了.

bad news

2011-08-11T01:15:00.000-05:00

唉...
也不知道说什么了. 只能感叹生死无常啊. 要好好珍惜光阴, 珍惜和爱的人在一起的每时每刻.
愿我的好朋友好妹妹能坚强地度过这一关,微笑着面对将来.

关于AW和小王子

2011-08-09T01:16:00.001-05:00

没有充分准备, 事情总是不能十全十美的. 知足吧
最近几周来的好心情突然又盖上了阴霾, 眼前的大山又出现了, 让我感到恐惧又焦躁.
和某主观得很的人聊天, 他硬要说我活得太累太辛苦, 我却硬要反驳说是为了理想再累也快乐.
现在想来, 这是自欺欺人么? 在2011年8月9日凌晨, 我坐在简陋的小房间里, 无时不刻想念着太平洋彼岸的爸妈. 在这样的深夜, 除了想念, 心里更是忐忑不安. 两天后的考试, 香港的签证, 整理东西, 搬家, 即将到来的疯狂的full time recruitment, GRE subject test, grad school ... 我很想说: 我很累, 我想找个人依靠. 但是我找不到任何理由让我停止前行, 我不知如何放慢脚步, 更无法说服自己.
外面刚下完雨. 要是在有星星的夜晚, 当我仰起头时, 也能看到一颗独特的只属于我的星星多好. 一个人有了爱,大概就不会像我这样烦躁不安了吧, 因为满天繁星中总有一颗独特的星星, 陪伴他走过漫漫长夜.

动车事件有感

2011-07-28T01:42:00.001-05:00

最近学modern history,学到1968年波及全球的social revolution. 当时各地骚动的主要人群就是大学生和年轻一代(the young generation). Hobsbawn的The Age of Extremes里分析道,1968年的年轻一代不像他们的父母,他们出生在和平的年代,换句话说,是资本主义社会发展的黄金年代 (政府大多倾向凯恩斯主义经济学,国家大量的财政支出和经济监管帮助经济迅速发展. 几乎所有资本主义强国在二战后的20多年,都欣欣向荣,失业率极低). 而他们的父母不同,大多都经历过两次世界大战和战间的经济大萧条,因而战后的经济大复苏让他们尝到了甜头, 大量生产(mass production)也让群众感受到了更多的平等(例如: 每个人负担得起的可口可乐,和总统喝的一模一样; 当大家都买得起大众汽车的时候, 富人开的奔驰也没那么乍眼了). 老一代(the old generation)由于这战前战后的落差,就比较容易满足,负面情绪也就较少. 年轻一代不同! 他们从出生开始,就经历着飞速发展的科技;他们适应力强,随着社会一起进步;他们瞧不起父母,因为老古董们都落后于时代,什么都不懂,什么也教不了他们; 他们因为从小就养尊处优, 很容易就能感到不满,发现社会的丑恶面,意识到强大的国家机器有多恐怖. 他们开始反抗父母,寻求独立.渐渐的,他们开始反抗社会,反抗社会上一切旧事物,旧的价值观.曾有句口号:不要相信一切年龄超过30岁的人! 从战后开始扩建的大学,成了这些心存不满的年轻人的根据地. 他们聚在一起,吸大麻,穿牛仔裤,最后在1968年队伍壮大到可以示威游行,封锁车站.

之所以讲这些,是因为在动车事件后,我通过互联网看到的国内的种种时不时地令我联想起1968年的学生运动.现在的年轻一代,80后90后,同样出生在和平年代,同样经历着经济飞速发展和全球化,同样比他们的父母懂得更多更紧跟潮流,同样受过良好的教育(先撇开国内大学质量不说,至少也都算受过较好的基础教育). 最重要的是,年轻一代懂得利用网络. 各种消息,无论最终被和谐还是不被,都能在人人网,微博等飞速传开. 这一次的动车事故,不管现在流传于网络的各种"真相"是否属实,至少我看到了所有非潜水网民的愤怒. 这一些推波助澜的网民,正是在中国繁荣经济下长大的叛逆的年轻一代!

为什么要讲这个关联?可知1968年后,世界发生了什么变化?经济无法永无止境地发展扩大下去,政府无法永无止境地用增加国债来创造新的工作岗位维持就业率,学生运动引发了全社会的反思.最终,1970年代开始,在资本主义国家,国家机器的力量逐渐减弱,经济模式也由原先的凯恩斯(Keynesianism)转向新自由主义(neo-liberalism). 总而言之,1968年后,社会经历了巨大的变革.

不知道此次的动车事件后否成为什么后续事件的导火索呢?

本人的心理是很矛盾的.一方面,我期待变革,期待看到有担当的政府,期待国家控制力的减弱,期待国家不再把群众视为数字,视为实验的小白鼠. 而另一方面,我不想看到冲突,不想看到流血,更不想看到一块生我养我的土地生灵涂炭.

暂且乐观点,愿一切能通过非暴力的途径慢慢变好.

热!

2011-07-19T23:42:00.001-05:00

热
热
热
热
热
Inter-peace...

FRESH rose face mask

2011-07-06T22:28:00.000-05:00

盼星星盼月亮包裹终于到了
灰常满意!
连身衣好看又合身!可惜今天刚来,脱脱太麻烦,没法穿... [爱夏天<3]
玫瑰面膜非常香!不晓得对皮肤会不会有功效,但至少让我心情大好(在due paper的前一晚有多难得!)

面朝大海

2011-07-04T19:57:00.003-05:00

春暖花开?

布法罗

2011-07-03T03:03:00.000-05:00

和妈妈吵了架, 很内疚. 不该让他们担心的.
又恨自己铁不成钢.
叫了整整一磅的鸡翅外卖, 发疯一样地吃. 美其名曰"减压"?

Hotaru

2011-07-02T22:48:00.002-05:00

夏天真的来啦~
记忆中的萤火虫好像是黄色的,然后你可以见着它在飞,说不准还能用双手罩住一个.
不知道是记忆紊乱了呢,还是美洲大陆和俺们欧亚大陆物种不一样,Evanston的萤火虫竟然是转瞬即逝的!在草坪上划出一道黄绿色的光,就消失不见了.然后你又会在远远的另一处撇到一道萤光.很神奇的感觉,像走进童话里了似的.
于是又想起了萤之光和Amemiya Hotaru. 真希望我也有这么一个小院子,然后在炎热的夏天坐在台阶上喝上一口冰镇啤酒!

世界遗产？

2011-06-24T21:15:00.000-05:00

http://whc.unesco.org/en/news/767
这样一来, 杭州更是要了不得了!

杭州原本就算是一羡慕煞人的富家小姐。论姿色，论身家，恐怕全中国没几个能与她媲美。青山碧水，物资丰沛，气候温和，再加上远离天朝，生活着还真是叫没甚压力，优哉游哉。但好东西总是人人都想要的。这不，各处有闲情闲钱之人，开始花大把银子来杭州买房、投资、圈地… 那些个原有的惬意和慵懒被渐渐镀上了一层金。之前看过一篇文章，说，哎呀杭州阿，就快变得跟南宋时一样，歌舞升平，纸醉金迷了！

且不说传得沸沸扬扬的三台山上闲人免进的北斗七星阵，毕竟不是亲眼所见。就说说云溪竹径吧，是我最爱的景点，每次回家必去。不过去呢，也就是沿着竹径走到山顶，喝口茶小憩下，闻闻茶花，避雨亭遥想下乾隆题诗的场景，望望洗心亭前一潭水（假装净涤下心灵），看看青石上钻出的四脚蛇一家，天色渐暗也就拍拍屁股回家了。今年春假去的时候却发觉山顶一片区域被围墙围起来了，想踏入去看个究竟也被保安之类的人物拦住，说了些private property一类的话。据爸爸说，那原先是个尼姑庵，后面好像还有条路能翻下山的。看来必是有人看中了云溪竹径这块宝地，圈了几亩地，想做“隐士”哩。那青石板铺的路，原本是决不允许汽车通行的。这为了山顶豪宅or whatevers的修建，什么车都让行了，轿车、卡车… 光是走下山，我就发现好几处石板凹凸不平，显然是被压坏了… 瞬间有种被别人抢了东西的感觉。云溪竹径必然不是我的，但它原先是大家共享的（或者它原先就已经不是了，因为土地都归天朝所有！）不知道夏天回去的时候，那会变成怎样了。

这世界遗产，评了倒不如评不上的好。越好的东西，眼红的人越多。到最后，哪还有咱老百姓的份儿。

can't be more stressed out

2011-06-21T00:10:00.000-05:00

要怨也只能怨自己不够格
也就只好付出多倍的努力
若最终两头都落空该如何是好?

呸呸呸不吉利

深呼吸 inner-peace...

莫名奇妙地...

2011-06-15T20:05:00.000-05:00

...对某人说了很多心里话
交朋友简单起来还真是不可思议

My first pair of Jimmy Choo! hOOray!

2011-06-14T02:16:00.000-05:00

今天nordstrom打折开心~~

Carpe Diem

2011-06-08T21:36:00.001-05:00

Robert Frost (1923)

Age saw two quiet children Go loving by at twilight, He knew not whether homeward, Or outward from the village, Or (chimes were ringing) churchward, He waited (they were strangers) Till they were out of hearing To bid them both be happy. “Be happy, happy, happy, And seize the day of pleasure.” The age-long theme is Age’s. ’Twas Age imposed on poems Their gather-roses burden To warn against the danger That overtaken lovers From being overflooded With happiness should have it. And yet not know they have it. But bid life seize the present? It lives less in the present Than in the future always, And less in both together Than in the past. The present Is too much for the senses, Too crowding, too confusing— Too present to imagine.

Seiko + Daniel Wu

2011-06-08T21:30:00.000-05:00

Groupon Is a Straight-Up Ponzi Scheme?

2011-06-06T20:25:00.003-05:00

http://www.knewton.com/blog/knewton/from-jose/2011/06/03/groupon-is-a-straight-up-ponzi-scheme/

Interesting stuff

车厘子

2011-05-07T14:36:00.000-05:00

车厘子 cherries 车厘子 cherries
有没有念起来很像呀?
昨天在wholefoods买了一包车厘子很好吃!也比在中国买要便宜~
于是就想起以前在家的时候我和妈妈都很喜欢吃车厘子的事儿了
想妈妈了... 想给妈妈吃这边卖得便宜的车厘子
明天就母亲节了
唉可是还要过三个月才回家

莲

2011-04-19T15:22:00.001-05:00

今天写Buddhism课reading response的时候,由莲花联想到了"出淤泥而不染"和"爱莲说." 接着又想到了西湖和六月的荷花.看了这么多年的荷花,却从来没真正想过出淤泥而不染的含义.现在学到了莲花在佛教里的象征,就真的很想回家在西湖边看着荷花meditate一下了.

附上课本里的一句话: It is said that when a person enjoys the freedom of Nirvana, he or she is like a lotus flower that rises out of the muddy waters. Detached from the unwholesome (muddy) states of mind, a nirvanic person's life flowers with the beauty of wholesomeness.

爱莲说一段及翻译: 予独爱莲之出淤泥而不染，濯清涟而不妖，中通外直，不蔓不枝，香远益清，亭亭静植，可远观而不可亵玩焉。/ I just love lotus because she grows in mud, yet never contaminates with it. She floats on waving water, yet never dances with it. The branchless stem is hollow inside but straight outside. Her faint fragrance reaches far and she stands erect in water, fair and graceful. She can only be appreciated afar but cannot be played arbitrarily.

感叹下,中国文化真是博大精深阿!

猛人

2011-04-16T01:16:00.000-05:00

越来越发觉身边的人都很猛猛在have fun 猛在social 猛在学习猛在工作
何去何从呢?
其实猛人一直都有山外也永远更有山关键在:我快乐吗?我满足吗?
最近在上佛教的课虽然还没办法理解佛学思想的全部但也浅显地学到了释迦牟尼对尘世(Samsara)和受难(suffering)的解读.
在佛教中,凡人的转世轮回(reincarnation, samsara)都被视作受难(suffering),而受难的根源就是种种的渴求(craving)和欲望(desire).
小时候,几乎事事都是心想事成.长大了,见得多识得广了,心气高了,渴求的东西也越来越多. 更多时候,思考的是:究竟自己的渴望是发自内心,还是因为太在乎身边物质的世界和世人的眼光. 直到遇到这么多猛人,见识到真正的"山外有山,天外有天,人外有人," 才渐渐意识到欲望是无边无界的,攀比也是永无休止的. 通俗地打个比方,开车走高速,超过了一群车,当你以为自己将它们远远甩在后面的时候,你又看见前方路的尽头有另一群车......超过一群又一群,永无止尽.
站得越高,视线所及之处越广,渴望的就越多. 然而正如释迦牟尼所说,若永远有渴望,便永远也得不到满足,便永远也得不到快乐. 我知道美国人提倡自我奋斗,传颂American dream型的励志故事;我也知道年轻人不该抱着浑浑噩噩过一身的念头,要有理想,有冲劲.但是,不管爬得有多高,看得有多远,要给自己的欲望划一个边界.我深知自己无法抵御物质的诱惑,不可能达到看空一切的境界,但至少要制止欲望疯狂地蔓延开去.
得到不一定快乐,满足才能带来幸福.
知足常乐.
:)

起床和赖床

2011-03-28T19:51:00.000-05:00

熬夜，是因为没有勇气结束一天；赖床，是因为没有勇气开始一天。

校内上看到别人转的还真说的蛮准的
明天不要赖床阿!!!!

柠檬黄的春天!

2011-03-15T16:28:00.001-05:00

一天天暖起来啦气温终于能持续保持零度以上了不过芝加哥这个撒谎的城市还是时不时会刮大风!!!!有没有!
今天春夏流行色都好喜欢阿柠檬黄珊瑚红还有各种wedges/粗跟鞋!
先post下wishlist以免忘记是在哪看到的哈
Kate Spade Essex Small Scout
citronella和orange都很喜欢不知道选那个好!

Tory Burch Tatum Platform Sandal
颜色好看!皮做的像rubber一样的感觉.粗跟+颜色感觉很摩登很edgy.

Tory Burch Leslie Cork-Wedge Sandal
裸色!还有weaving!蛮丛林的 :P

KORS Michael Kors Wiley Wedge Espadrille Sandal
这双跟前面的相比略显老气啦,不过人家是Michael Kors么..本来就target中年妇女的...
喜欢前面X型的拼接,应该会显脚瘦噢.看起来是双穿着很舒服的鞋应该可以绑住我新陈代谢过快狂出汗的脚嘻嘻

不要浑浑噩噩地过!

2011-03-14T00:17:00.000-05:00

あなたがなんとなく過ごした今日は、昨日死んでいった人が必死に生きたいと願った明日。
你浑浑噩噩度过的今天，是昨天逝去的人拼命祈愿想要活下来的明天。

日文看不懂据说日文比中文更震撼

完全没变瘦 T T

2011-03-12T20:46:00.002-06:00

work out完去称了下体重
113磅!!
我还当我瘦好多了类!还是又胖回来了?
霜心...

使你疲惫不堪的不是前面的群山，而是你鞋子里的一粒砂

2011-03-10T00:19:00.002-06:00

微博上看到这句话
要战胜的是自己不是面前的困难!
懒惰和拖拉就是我鞋子里的砂!

3/4 end of internship

2011-03-04T19:49:00.000-06:00

在回学校的shuttle上居然有一种错觉-明天下礼拜和这相同的场景还会发生
其实现在已经不sad了就觉得空空的失落落的
很难理解为什么在走出chase tower天开始下雨的同时我也忍不住下雨了
是有些不舍拉觉得好不容易跟大家亲近些了就要离开了
而且也许这些人这个办公室我这辈子再也见不到了
年纪越大倒越在乎起这些第一次最后次之类的事儿了
似乎已经把自己的人生望到底了
小时候仅仅是怀着对各种的朦胧的憧憬比如想象着有一天自己能长高到轻松拉住公交车扶手了结果现在还是要很费力才能拉到
但生活不就是充满了形形色色的过客么
我又何尝不是别人眼中的过客呢?再过一个月他们又会迎来一个新的"我"新的intern
这样想想人生还真像是一个巨大的齿轮哩
其实呢又何必在乎这些个最后次第一次的不过是一个代号罢了就好像旧年的最后天新年的第一天还不是因为古人在那个random的时候发明了日历
不管怎么说这场unique的经历也算是画上句号了要回归正常的campus life了

Sugar Bliss Cake Boutique

2011-03-04T01:43:00.000-06:00

发现loop里一家好吃的!

last day of work

2011-03-04T01:12:00.000-06:00

明天最后天上班了(其实已经是今天了)
觉得不舍了有点
其实才渐渐觉得跟coworker们close起来
唉...果然是慢热型的人阿

YSL love ballerinas

2011-03-04T01:03:00.000-06:00

Cafe Spiaggia

2011-02-26T01:15:00.000-06:00

Italian restaurant located on N Michigan Ave.
Great place great atmosphere great food and decent service.
I had Fegato and Polipo. Loved both of them. Fegato is bread with rabbit liver mousse. Polipo is grilled octopus with a little bit of potato. A friend of mine had white wine. Had a sip, it was great! Will order a wine with my entree next time.
I will definitely go again. 5 star recommendation for couples. They have those two-person tables facing the windows with little lamps hanging over them. Very nice spots for dating. Will make you feel close, but not too awkward at the same time.
And hope to go to Spiaggia someday dressed up with my Mr. Right!

lesson learned

2011-02-19T00:20:00.001-06:00

2 things i learned tonight:
life is fucking hard
i shouldn't be so fucking naive

and i am so fucking fucked

someday these people will know that 我也不是好欺负的
yes, they'll know someday

下班了

2011-02-15T23:25:00.001-06:00

站在芝加哥街头只想大哭一场风越吹越觉得这个每天经过两次的街角是那么陌生好像整个城市都在离我远去而我那么渺小像一只打了败仗的蚂蚁连回家的路都找不着

1/4 first day of internship

2011-01-03T21:51:00.002-06:00

明天实习开始包的拉链上居然写着"have courage"! 很鼓舞人心阿

01/01/2011

2010-12-30T22:36:00.002-06:00

唉..俺又要滚翘翘了...在灰机上跨年还真是奇异的经历哩..

Christmas和物是人非

2010-12-24T12:21:00.001-06:00

圣诞聚会和泡吧似乎已经变成了某种不成文的传统不为凑热闹也不为庆祝圣诞仅仅是相聚的一个理由
但越来越明显地感到大家的凝聚力大有减弱时常出现冷场致使我有时必须强迫自己乱挑话题(俗称操话) 而对话内容的真实感和信息量也大大减少实在是令人惋惜的一件事
半年前就决定要与某人断绝往来不说一句多余的不必要的话却在前一天意外得知mutual friends们仍然邀请了他心里不禁咯噔一声时刻提醒自己要摆出自然的有尊严的模样果然相见都不敢对视虽说对此人的厌恶已经远远超出对那段感情的留恋但又总情不自禁地回想起一些开心的往事洗澡时倒是相通了一件事认为自己不该为这一些个flashback感到愧疚丢脸他们不代表现今的任何情感但有件事我不能永远一直否认下去即:美好的确曾经存在现今的任何事实和负面情绪都无法否认这段历史的存在更无法消除心中存留的对某些往事的美好感受而这一切都牢牢地锁在时间里对现在或将来的发展无任何影响想清楚了这点离彻底释然也就更近一步了
一样的圣诞却是物是人非所幸我的生活中也已加入了不少新的元素

说谎、沉默和喋喋不休

2010-12-21T04:23:00.000-06:00

不妨说，说谎与沉默是现代人类社会中流行的两大罪行。我们实际上经常说谎，也往往沉默不语。
然后，倘若我们一年四季都喋喋不休，而且喋喋不休的无不真实，那么真实的价值势必荡然无存。
-且听风吟 p119

空虚态

2010-12-17T04:41:00.002-06:00

好不容易翻墙来这里啊..
从中国时间12/13回到家开始貌似就没做过些什么正经事儿连看土豆上的电视剧都觉得索然无味去看了电影"赵氏孤儿"也看得毫无感触差点睡着... 倒是把暑假遗留下来没看完的1Q84第二本解决了今天又去书店买了一堆小说之类的闲书好像看书最解闷最填补空虚了
妈妈说我是没精神寄托换言之就是没恋爱么..>.< 她这么跟我讲的时候我完全没当回事儿.可是后来想想从去美国读大学开始每次回来好像都是带有某些"精神寄托"的..这其中的某人我现在是完全不想提起...但似乎过去的自己回家除了跟亲人团聚还有约会/喝酒/high到爆的盼头可这一次好像什么都没有了连喝酒party的欲望都所剩无几完完全全地变成宅女在家看视频看小说... 昨天晚上躺在床上想人生的意义想还有不到15天又要回去了想:哪天没事儿干了我是不是会空虚到死?! 唉...怎么就变成这么无趣又无激情的人了呢....

解放!

2010-12-11T04:52:00.001-06:00

终于考完了..虽然今天最后一门final经历了惊心动魄的oversleep..
but anyways, 再过24hr多点我就在家大吃大喝大睡啦!
5点考完数学,去plex吃过饭就去镇上的cinemax看Black Swan了
Natalie Portman 演技一流芭蕾也跳很beautiful(我这个门外汉是看不出专业不专业啦) 黑天鹅造型很惊艳!!
不过没有我想象得那么thrilling啦.所谓的psychological thriller貌似没把我suck进去比trailor不恐怖多了有点brutal倒是真的
里面有句话倒是讲得蛮好的大致是"eventually, it is yourself that stands in the way."
感觉每个人都是多面的但是因为习惯也好周边环境影响也好人们总是倾向于只表现出自己的某一面(或者有risk averse的成份吧要smooth out各种behavior) Black Swan大概想讲述的也是一个认识自我发现自我的故事吧虽然剧中的Nina为此付出的巨大的代价
那么我呢?还应该这样一层不变地生活下去么?因为害怕改变,在意他人的眼光,而不愿付出任何努力去尝试发掘新的自我么?要如何才能找到平衡点呢,如何在沿着轨迹行驶时还能有新的突破呢?又或者在到达某一点后,就不该施于任何外力,任凭自己匀速直线行驶下去吗?

final week

2010-12-06T23:19:00.002-06:00

One down, two to go.

在Northwestern的第一场雪

2010-12-05T00:35:00.003-06:00

其实我还是蛮喜欢下雪天的
脚踩在雪上面扑哧扑哧的声音
天气完全感觉不到冷
头发上沾满像头皮屑一样的小雪花 :p

BarCap verbal test

2010-12-04T06:10:00.004-06:00

唉呦..做完BarCap的verbal test 一身冷汗心跳加快
IB呀...你连我的resume都没见着就开始这么折腾我了呀..
Numerical test wasn't too bad, but verbal was definitely very time consuming, given that I am not a fast reader. Even if you are a super fast reader, I don't think it'd help too much. The materials are way too complicatedly written that you can't grasp the idea with just a glimpse. I think the best tip is to stay calm and don't panic.
手还抖呢...

Kyoka Suzuki

2010-12-04T00:20:00.002-06:00

铃木京香
这个女人年轻的时候和现在都是这么迷人阿!

失控的胖子

2010-12-03T23:35:00.002-06:00

by范晓萱
哈哈哈哈太有趣了
附歌词:
我总觉得自己是个胖子
很想变瘦的死胖子
每天还是一直都在吃
就是因为身边有个瘦子
大吃大喝却不会胖
她的名字就是徐熙娣
她约我吃
我就去吃
明明就正在减肥
炸鸡肉圆
火锅甜点
为何她不肥我却变肥
我曾经想过要跟她断交
因为她的食量太大
再下去我一定会爆炸
每次吃完饭后过十分钟
她竟然问还要不要吃
我真想要呼她巴掌
你有完没完
这死瘦子
但也没人逼我吃
自己失控还怪别人
承认吧
你根本就爱吃
我总觉得自己是个胖子
很想变瘦的死胖子
每天还是一直都在吃
总是骗自己能吃就是福
还不是要找个藉口
一有空就疯狂地大吃
...

写给Jolene

2010-12-02T19:15:00.001-06:00

期待你的blogger噢!

头姐和风

2010-12-01T23:18:00.001-06:00

头姐一来芝加哥就开始刮大风
一走!风就停啦 =)
有朋友真好<3

我爱契尔氏!

2010-11-29T23:57:00.002-06:00

windy city真是名不虚传阿!
风一挂起来走路艰难不说整个脸完全干掉裂掉炸掉了!
Thanksgiving去买了这个

出门前涂上厚厚一层大冬天就不用怕啦~
而且无嗅无味很好抹开噢

reading week

2010-11-29T20:29:00.002-06:00

今天能让心情high点的大概就只有新围巾和变得很自然的头发啦
procrastinate到最后一刻算是把paper赶完了
n多事堆着
很为眼下的细纹担忧这么快就老了么?!

静心

2010-11-28T23:47:00.002-06:00

学习..
感恩节过的真是开心阿
吃好喝好shop好,还有大头好!
其实真正玩的也就是一天半,另外时间都在procrastinate+担忧paper+写paper中度过
唉..浪费了无数的时间在看土豆上!
是不是SB韩剧台剧看多了再回去看日剧就会觉得好看的?
second virgin很纠结但是很喜欢拍摄角度配音还是女主角的衣服妆容包包和她的Van Cleef & Arpel!
在台湾mont blanc是电视剧最大赞助商估计在日本就是VCA了
啊!Second Virgin女主角中村的戒指是在是太好看啦
感叹结束!
reading week真的不能再procrastinate了
毅力!
最大的敌人是谁? 懒惰!
洗澡
写paper

Black Swan

2010-11-28T23:36:00.001-06:00

Can't wait!

辣辣辣!

2010-09-30T19:02:00.001-05:00

听说芝加哥有家餐馆叫"老四川"
想吃!!!!!!!!!

make sure to...

2010-09-03T03:02:00.001-05:00

you are painting a master piece,
make sure to hide the brush strokes.

-Betty Drapper, MAD MEN

Entrepreneur's Credo

2010-08-25T10:22:00.000-05:00

I do not choose to be a common man,
It is my right to be uncommon … if I can,
I seek opportunity … not security.
I do not wish to be a kept citizen.
Humbled and dulled by having the
State look after me.
I want to take the calculated risk;
To dream and to build.
To fail and to succeed.
I refuse to barter incentive for a dole;
I prefer the challenges of life
To the guaranteed existence;
The thrill of fulfillment
To the stale calm of Utopia.
I will not trade freedom for beneficence
Nor my dignity for a handout
I will never cower before any master
Nor bend to any threat.
It is my heritage to stand erect.
Proud and unafraid;
To think and act for myself,
To enjoy the benefit of my creations
And to face the world boldly and say:
This, with God’s help, I have done
All this is what it means
To be an Entrepreneur.

(Excerpt from Common Sense, written in 1776 by Thomas Paine)

懒呀

2010-08-19T23:54:00.002-05:00

太懒了毫无斗志
昨天做了个梦在学校宿舍里遇到了猎豹差点被吃掉又看到了黑熊和大象!
莫非是对新学校的恐惧?
逃避只能换来现时的安乐到时候真遇着猎豹可就死特了...

mission completed!

2010-08-11T06:18:00.002-05:00

撒花!
翻墙成功~

激动!

2010-05-24T04:29:00.000-05:00

快回家了
激动地居然睡不着觉了
想爸妈了!

你的恋爱倾向?

2010-05-21T14:47:00.003-05:00

豆瓣上很春地参加了这个线上活动
http://timino.jp/
看起来都还不错哩, 嘻嘻 :)

lilac lilac!

2010-05-16T01:51:00.004-05:00

撒花
Lilac Festival归来,多美的花呀
最爱这两种

郑重地向汪汪汪道歉!

2010-05-13T12:23:00.000-05:00

看电影不理你
我已经遭到某人谴责了
我,错了! T T

spring time!

2010-05-13T05:43:00.001-05:00

发春啦!
小碎花背景啦啦啦
研究了老半天,终于弄了一个personalized的
:)

dear john

2010-05-13T04:33:00.006-05:00

I don't know why I cried all through the movie..it really is not that moving..
I like how she says "dear john" with the "n" sound.
Same house as in Notebook.
Plot, kinda cliche... war+letter+love..
Amanda Seyfried's eyes are clear and beautiful.
Nice song at the end.

Can't wait to watch Letters to Juliet!

the hangover + iron man 2

2010-05-11T23:47:00.002-05:00

最近看了两部电影
iron man 2
a nice continuation, but not too much surprise
整体还是延续了上部的人物性格和tony的搞笑风格
Scarlett Johansson真是太hot了!爱死她了!!
不过看完整部,最大的感觉还是
这是一部patriotic movie吗?
出现的美国国旗/士兵blablabla的会不会太多了点?
情节方面..究竟技术是tony老爸发明的,还是强了别人的还deport别人?我没看明白.但似乎片中发展到后来那个Russian guy自然而然就变bad guy了...虽然拿人不人道的标准去衡量的确是这样..不过整部片,美国人爱当老大哥/爱耍酷/爱逞英雄的气焰是高到不能再高了,他们真以为自己是救世主,世界没了自己就要毁灭了是么?
看完大家都很high,我也其实挺high的.这样的爱国主义片真算是高明了
(画外音"红星闪闪放光芒...")

the hangover
强烈推荐!
跟两个friend在家里看的,完全笑疯了 :D
情节我就不透露了十分有趣就是了
算是很轻松很美式很搞笑又不低俗的片子吧
得一忠告:
Don't get fucked up in Vegas!

考试考完了日子过得可真滋润
正在考试的同志们辛苦了!

je suis triste

2010-05-06T14:17:00.001-05:00

because I feel that I never succeeded.

On veut faire ...

2010-04-21T02:32:00.000-05:00

1. 动物园郊游
2.小和山寻宝
3.金图门大吃大喝烤鸡翅烤羊肉串喝啤酒操话交流感情玩三国杀

重温Olivia

2010-04-13T01:40:00.002-05:00

最新一集的康熙来了,
重见Olivia.
大概还是高中的时候某段时间超喜欢她的声音.
只知道她是新加坡人.
今天看到她演唱driving这首歌的时候才确定就是她!
节目里她还唱了"我愿意为你,我愿意为你..." 超级好听!
很激动
不过怎么这么好的歌手到现在才被引进台湾...

Manning & Napier面试记

2010-04-12T20:54:00.002-05:00

从周五面试到现在,也过了好多天了.
挺想写篇面试记的,结果拖到现在.
原因也不全在拖延症,更多在于懒惰+自我放纵.
现在回想起来,每做完一件大事儿,就会堕落个好多天.
还自以为是地找理由,说是要好好放松休息下.
面试完后也是如此,整个周末,虽然参加了其他很多活动,但是除此之外,也是浑浑噩噩地过了一个周末,导致今天(周一)3pm才起床,翘了两节课...

至于面试,
大体还是在我的预想之内的.
manning是家rochester-based的investment management公司,
之前就猜想到,它不会像纽约那些疯狂的投行一样高压面试弄到各个崩溃流泪.
不过妈妈还是有告诫我不要掉以轻心,于是我也是谨慎地准备着了.
其实在邮箱里看到manning打头的邮件时,我也都没期望什么,当又是什么拒信一类的礼节性邮件,因为之前boston一家公司就来过这么一套.
点开的时候都不敢相信里面的interview字眼.
当下当然是无比激动的,超想打电话给妈妈.可惜他们深更半夜的....没打
等到北京时间天亮后,我已经完全换了一种心情了.
在欣喜地发了几条短信之后,兴奋很快转为了焦虑.
极其复杂的情绪转变...而大部分都是欲望在作怪.
在投出无数封简历石沉大海后,我几乎连"给我一个面试"的希望都放弃了.
当这个unexpected的面试出现,在心情平复之后,我竟然不知所措起来.
此刻才意识到,我那所谓"给我一个面试"的期望是多么immature和vague.
"机会总会降临在有准备的人身上"这句话在那一刻深深地struck了我.
我感到无助,懊悔....感到无法把握人生...惧怕失去这一次的机会.....
这样的心态,甚至让我无法静下心来好好准备面试.

面试前一天,特别想跟妈妈skype.
其实也就是跟她多说几句话,缓解下发虚的心情吧.
Iowa来的电话也激励了我,教会了我很多面试技巧.
当然,我也清除地明白,不论有多少鼓励/帮助,这将是一场一个人的战斗,一切都只能靠我自己去克服.
也算是尽全力准备了如何应对各种behavioral questions.
至于technical questions,也只能够差不多回忆下学过的micro, macro,和accounting的内容.
stock market方面,我知道在如此短的时间内我是无法抱任何佛脚了.于是基本就是放弃了这块.心想,若是面试因此而失败,也算是给自己一个"无准备"的教训了.

面试当天,因为是搭别人车去,心里难免要紧张怕迟到,因为别人没那个incentive么..
(所以身在美国,没驾照/没车还真是见难搞的事儿阿)
不过还是提前5分钟赶到了.
公司在3层楼的建筑里,里面是挺老式的风格,一切都还蛮温馨/蛮让人放松的.
receptionist也挺和蔼,于是我就坐着等Julie(我的面试者之一)了.
刚好有技术工在修空调,倒是刚好distract我,以防胡思乱想变紧张.
大约5-10分钟,Julie过来了.握手介绍后,她领我下楼到一个会议室去.
Julie之前在学校的career fair上见过,这次再见面,她更显得有亲和力了.
虽然别人出发点可能仅仅是出于礼貌,不过还是让我觉得挺comfortable的.
接着就碰到了会议室里等着我的另外两个面试者(当然这些都是预料之中的).
握手问好.(发现他们的handshake都很firm+坚定,我将来得好好注意了)
先是Julie简单介绍了下这个summer position的responsibilities一类,
接着就开始问我问题了.
他们人手有一份我的简历和一份问题.
我因为更新了简历,就又发给他们一人一份.
然后就是我说一句,他们在问题纸上记下点什么.
问题大多都是behavorial questions.
现在记得的大致有:
1. why did you choose u of r?
2. what is your weakest/strongest asset?
3. what kind of impression would you want to leave with manning?
4. what is your future career goal?
5. tell us one thing that you were above and beyond what was asked for.
6. tell us one experience of you that you worked under critics.
另外有些不记得了.大部分是围绕resume的有关个人经历的问题,我自然也由个人经历绕回到自己具有的个人能力,从而告诉对方我是有能力胜任这分工作的.
最开始稍微有些结巴.不过整个气氛挺轻松的,我也可以说是发挥地越来越好的.
总体来说,我还是挺满意的.因为大部分的问题都事先想到过,做过准备,也都把自己想说的都表达了.
之后是另外两个分管不同部门的supervisor,分别介绍他们部门的职务.
因为之前也差不多了解了这两个部门的分管,也没太confused,也及时提了问和作了互动.这大概能证明我反应还不慢吧...

大体上,对这次面试,我是挺高兴的.我不愿去想,到底从客观上来看,我的应答水准到底如何.但是仅从我已准备的和我已经历的来说,我觉得是发挥到最好了.当然,我心里很清除的是,这样的低要求只能用于第一次,将来就不能这么随随便便的.其实最后的时候,他们有问我是否follow the market,这个问题不是在问题纸上是他们即时想出来的.我只能说"honostly, I tried to follow. But..." 希望在下一次不会重复这样的情况.

虽然outcome还不错,但是还需大量的努力.
要保持:好心态,幽默感,笑容.
要努力:专业的面试技巧培训,tons of study for the financial markets.

good luck

2010-04-09T01:15:00.001-05:00

an unexpected interview offer
wish myself good luck!

应汪汪的要求

2010-04-05T23:47:00.007-05:00

我来晒下我"出卖色相"得来的TOUS
哎呀真是过意不去阿...
不过还是蛮开心的嘻嘻 :)

Bon anniversaire!

2010-04-04T21:02:00.004-05:00

许丹丹送我的花
就这样也活了20年了阿

Carrie Bradshaw: Icons of the decade

2010-04-03T01:36:00.003-05:00

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/dec/22/carrie-bradshaw-icons-of-decade

Carrie Bradshaw: Icons of the decade

How Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw did as much to shift the culture around certain women's issues as real-life female groundbreakers

- Naomi Wolf

She's not a brass-knuckled political figure, a Birkenstock-wearing Amazon or a breaker of corporate glass ceilings; she's just a sassy single girl in New York City. So why am I so sure that Carrie Bradshaw – the charming, ever-hopeful star of the longrunning HBO series and hit film, all based on Candace Bushnell's New York Observer column – is an icon and did as much to shift the culture around certain women's issues as real-life feminist groundbreakers?

I have written before about how radical it was that the narrative of Sex and the City centred not around a couple – let alone the traditional formula of hero-plus-beautiful-secondary-love-interest. Rather, the core of the tale was always the life-sustaining friendship among four women, as the men in their lives came and went. This break from narrative norms was remarkable not just because Bushnell was insisting that four women – no longer in their first youth – were renewably compelling on their own terms; it was also radical because, in a very un-PC but admirable flouting of feminist norms, Bushnell was brave enough to lay bare the secret – that for many women the search for love is the same urgent, central, archetypal quest story that for men is played out in war narratives and adventure tales. Bushnell was gutsy enough to disclose that even we serious, accomplished, feminist women spend a lot of time, when we are alone with our female friends, telling stories centred on the men with whom we are romantically entangled, exploring the quality of the love and attraction, the romance and the sex. And we are often just that graphic and hopeful and vulnerable and slutty as those four characters.

This was so startlingly un-sayable that when women watched Sex and the City, it was like seeing a secret set of their own dramas spring into art. Now they are the stalest of cliches, but when, in the first 1998 episode, in the midst of all that big hair and weird brown lipstick, you hear Carrie first describe the allure and disappointment of "toxic bachelors", when Samantha first says frankly that she likes to have sex without emotion, to "fuck like a man", it was bitingly fresh for women to speak these aphorisms out loud, in public, and in fabulous heels.

But there are other reasons that the characters of Sex and the City endured as icons throughout the first decade of the 21st century, and other reasons that Carrie will continue to resonate. She was a writer who arrived in the big city to test her mettle and realise her voice. Male writers have structured stories around exactly this character from F Scott Fitzgerald to JD Salinger to Philip Roth; but Carrie showed audiences week after week that a lively female consciousness was as interesting as female sexuality or motherhood or martyrdom – the tradition role model options.

Carrie is a writer, and her adventures aren't just love escapades as they would be for a Fanny, or even an Elizabeth Bennet: they are material filtered though one woman's distinctive point of view and crafted into text in her unique voice. After the shallow or deeper sagas of hot sex or social slights, of hungover breakfasts with the girls or Cosmopolitans and hookups at night, every episode saw the letters unscrolling – often forming quite existential questions – across Carrie's computer screen. Teenage girls watching each episode were taking in a clear message. Not only can I dress up and flirt, seduce and consume, overcome challenges, yield to temptations, take risks, fail, try again – I can think about it all, and what I think will matter.

It may seem ironic that the first female thinker in pop culture (not in books – books have had them since Doris Lessing) came to us with corkscrew curls and wacky cloth flowers in her hair, teetering on Manolos worn over Japanese-schoolgirl socks. But really, can you name a TV show or film prior to this that centred around a woman reflecting about her life and the world? Carrie, for better or worse, was our first pop-culture philosopher.

What about other firsts from Sex and the City that made a big difference in women's lives, and probably, by extension, men's lives too? Let's just take a look at Samantha. The history of English – and one might say western – culture, when it comes to female sexuality, is the history of sluts getting punished for their lust.

From the teenage non-virgins stoned to death in the Bible, to Hester Prynne and Madame Bovary, sluts always, but always, get some terrible disfiguring disease – or die. They are always object lessons to women reading or watching that they can't get away with it – if it is sexual autonomy and self-expression. Erica Jong will always be a personal heroine of mine because her alter ego, Isadora Wing in Fear of Flying, broke that convention so decisively. But again, books are not enough. In TV or film, do you get to be a slut without comeuppance? Never. Yet there is Samantha, bawdy as the Wife of Bath, always cheerfully horny and materialistic, utterly without Calvinic redeeming qualities, living at last with her devoted younger boy toy in LA in the Sex and the City movie – finally leaving him because she is just not cut out to mix her driving, unmediated sexual energy with commitment. Did not thousands of young women eager to explore their sexuality, but scared of being labeled sluts by their peers, breathe a sigh of relief or even liberation watching Samantha down another tequila, unrepentantly ogle the sex god at the end of the bar, and get richer and more beautiful with age, with no STDs or furies pursuing her? Charlotte and Miranda are fine, as they go – stereotypes of the good girl and the restless corporate achiever. But Carrie, and then Samantha? A revolution.

Oddly enough, as I was getting ready to write this, I stepped into a restaurant in New York – and in brushed a woman in big sunglasses and crazy boots, who warmly greeted the staff in a manner so familiar to me I smiled instinctively. I thought it must be a friend of mine. Well, I wasn't completely wrong. Actually, it was Sarah Jessica Parker, a stranger. Yet every woman in the room reacted with a similar happy, gut familiarity.

Why? Not because of the actor – because of the character.

Because we had all heard Carrie's stories from our own girlfriends, and recognised in her something of our best selves. Hey girlfriend!

meerkat

2010-04-03T01:27:00.004-05:00

new love!
动物世界里见过的猫鼬~可爱死人拉!!! (抓狂)
必看电影 The Meerkat

80 degrees + a porn

2010-04-03T00:30:00.002-05:00

I watched a porn
when Rochester gets too hot
innocent no more

解释下,porn是学校公映的,annual event.
没有情节没有镜头, all about sex... and it was gross!

新玩意儿 Haiku

2010-04-03T00:23:00.003-05:00

从来不知道英文也能写俳句
http://www.toyomasu.com/haiku/#howtowritehaiku

大概格式是第一句第三句5个音节,第二句7个音节
要包含和季节有关的词语
其中要有一个小转折(cut)

我也试了下挺有趣
My dear friend Miss Owl
Why are you staring at me?
Because I am you

hooray!

2010-04-01T01:34:00.001-05:00

On va a Aix-en-Provence!

厌学

2010-03-30T21:06:00.000-05:00

ughhh 不想学习心烦心里不安想回家

谷歌

2010-03-27T18:06:00.003-05:00

撇开human rights/internet freedom/hacker事件,我倒是很想知道谷歌撤出中国大陆背后的经济原因.
是不是只有所谓的providing uncensored information is an important asset for search engines?
还是考虑到了stakeholders', instead of stockholders', benefit?
还是原本就在中国市场赚不了多少,想乘机炒作一把,提高在其他市场的知名度和声誉?
有机会/有能力做个reseach就好了

春光乍泄

2010-03-25T23:27:00.000-05:00

想回家.

polkaka

2010-03-23T23:32:00.001-05:00

最爱polka dots和peter pan collar.
做abstract algebra快疯了!

不敢想象

2010-03-23T17:33:00.003-05:00

不敢想象
有天google.com.hk被封
有天连gmail也上不去
...

而这样的大概率事件
是不得不要为其做好心里准备的
要知道
Picasa早就成了有字儿没图儿的页面
Blogger也早已沦入"该页无法显示"的境地

还有什么比这更糟糕的么?

HARUKI MURAKAMI

2010-03-23T00:07:00.006-05:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/08/books/review/Murakami-t.html?_r=2&ex=1186027200&en=3284166571714755&ei=5070

By HARUKI MURAKAMI

Published: July 8, 2007

I never had any intention of becoming a novelist — at least not until I turned 29. This is absolutely true.

I read a lot from the time I was a little kid, and I got so deeply into the worlds of the novels I was reading that it would be a lie if I said I never felt like writing anything. But I never believed I had the talent to write fiction. In my teens I loved writers like Dostoyevsky, Kafka and Balzac, but I never imagined I could write anything that would measure up to the works they left us. And so, at an early age, I simply gave up any hope of writing fiction. I would continue to read books as a hobby, I decided, and look elsewhere for a way to make a living.

The professional area I settled on was music. I worked hard, saved my money, borrowed a lot from friends and relatives, and shortly after leaving the university I opened a little jazz club in Tokyo. We served coffee in the daytime and drinks at night. We also served a few simple dishes. We had records playing constantly, and young musicians performing live jazz on weekends. I kept this up for seven years. Why? For one simple reason: It enabled me to listen to jazz from morning to night.

I had my first encounter with jazz in 1964 when I was 15. Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers performed in Kobe in January that year, and I got a ticket for a birthday present. This was the first time I really listened to jazz, and it bowled me over. I was thunderstruck. The band was just great: Wayne Shorter on tenor sax, Freddie Hubbard on trumpet, Curtis Fuller on trombone and Art Blakey in the lead with his solid, imaginative drumming. I think it was one of the strongest units in jazz history. I had never heard such amazing music, and I was hooked.

A year ago in Boston I had dinner with the Panamanian jazz pianist Danilo Pérez, and when I told him this story, he pulled out his cellphone and asked me, “Would you like to talk to Wayne, Haruki?” “Of course,” I said, practically at a loss for words. He called Wayne Shorter in Florida and handed me the phone. Basically what I said to him was that I had never heard such amazing music before or since. Life is so strange, you never know what’s going to happen. Here I was, 42 years later, writing novels, living in Boston and talking to Wayne Shorter on a cellphone. I never could have imagined it.

When I turned 29, all of a sudden out of nowhere I got this feeling that I wanted to write a novel — that I could do it. I couldn’t write anything that measured up to Dostoyevsky or Balzac, of course, but I told myself it didn’t matter. I didn’t have to become a literary giant. Still, I had no idea how to go about writing a novel or what to write about. I had absolutely no experience, after all, and no ready-made style at my disposal. I didn’t know anyone who could teach me how to do it, or even friends I could talk with about literature. My only thought at that point was how wonderful it would be if I could write like playing an instrument.

I had practiced the piano as a kid, and I could read enough music to pick out a simple melody, but I didn’t have the kind of technique it takes to become a professional musician. Inside my head, though, I did often feel as though something like my own music was swirling around in a rich, strong surge. I wondered if it might be possible for me to transfer that music into writing. That was how my style got started.

Whether in music or in fiction, the most basic thing is rhythm. Your style needs to have good, natural, steady rhythm, or people won’t keep reading your work. I learned the importance of rhythm from music — and mainly from jazz. Next comes melody — which, in literature, means the appropriate arrangement of the words to match the rhythm. If the way the words fit the rhythm is smooth and beautiful, you can’t ask for anything more. Next is harmony — the internal mental sounds that support the words. Then comes the part I like best: free improvisation. Through some special channel, the story comes welling out freely from inside. All I have to do is get into the flow. Finally comes what may be the most important thing: that high you experience upon completing a work — upon ending your “performance” and feeling you have succeeded in reaching a place that is new and meaningful. And if all goes well, you get to share that sense of elevation with your readers (your audience). That is a marvelous culmination that can be achieved in no other way.

Practically everything I know about writing, then, I learned from music. It may sound paradoxical to say so, but if I had not been so obsessed with music, I might not have become a novelist. Even now, almost 30 years later, I continue to learn a great deal about writing from good music. My style is as deeply influenced by Charlie Parker’s repeated freewheeling riffs, say, as by F. Scott Fitzgerald’s elegantly flowing prose. And I still take the quality of continual self-renewal in Miles Davis’s music as a literary model.

One of my all-time favorite jazz pianists is Thelonious Monk. Once, when someone asked him how he managed to get a certain special sound out of the piano, Monk pointed to the keyboard and said: “It can’t be any new note. When you look at the keyboard, all the notes are there already. But if you mean a note enough, it will sound different. You got to pick the notes you really mean!”

I often recall these words when I am writing, and I think to myself, “It’s true. There aren’t any new words. Our job is to give new meanings and special overtones to absolutely ordinary words.” I find the thought reassuring. It means that vast, unknown stretches still lie before us, fertile territories just waiting for us to cultivate them.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I came to understand why his novels are so amazing, and how he made the words flow.

Van Cleef & Arpels

2010-03-20T16:00:00.008-05:00

之前在杂志上看到过今天又在日剧里看到
大美美!
拥有Van Cleef & Arpel, 做女人也完美了...
我完全被煞到了...omg

Paris Je T'aime?

2010-03-20T05:31:00.008-05:00

"we are all in the dance, dans la meme histoire...."
that's what it sings at the end of the movie.
Maybe I should go to Paris someday.
Yes, someday.
to be in the "meme histoire."
Mais, maintenant, j'aime Paris? Paris m'aime?

巴黎好像是一样藏在箱底的宝物
一直都不敢去把它拿出来仔细瞅瞅
而事实上我的确不知道它是什么
想要save it to the very moment
当我能流利说法语了当我对culture francais不再那么陌生了
当我对它的期待不再是La Tour Eiffel, Le Louvre, L'Arc de Triomphe....
《Paris Je T'aime》改变了我的想法
Yes, I should go.
To be in the same story.
那样我才能真正了解巴黎爱上巴黎
Oui, on va au Paris!

脆弱的时刻吼一吼!

2010-03-15T21:23:00.001-05:00

生活很艰辛
我觉得我要投降了
真想就这么飞回家再也不回来了
真想就这么不设闹钟倒头大睡
但是不可以
怎么办!

哇塞

2010-03-09T07:26:00.003-06:00

天下奇观
杭州居然比roc冷了!
有图为证

小撇步

2010-03-08T18:33:00.001-06:00

照台湾人的说法今天学到一个小撇步
煮macaroni的时候先在水里放点盐/油这样macaroni不会糊

早起的鸟儿有虫吃

2010-03-06T13:42:00.001-06:00

今天早起吃到虫了
发现roc的早晨很美路上的冰很滑路边的雪造型很好
原来我错过了这么多个美好的早晨阿

RAing

2010-03-02T18:17:00.000-06:00

lol, got a 15 dollars/hr job.

gmail最牛!

2010-02-25T21:46:00.002-06:00

今天发现gmail一个非凡功能
我在写邮件写完忘记attach了就点了send
结果!gmail居然给我说你在email里写了"I have attached",你确定要发送吗?
真是谢天谢地!否则我这封重要邮件就这么莫名其妙地发出了...
其实gmail本来还有个功能,就是在邮件刚发出的1-2秒,上面有个框会显示邮件正在发送中,后面还有个undo键,可以在last moment取消.但是刚次试了下,好像没有了...囧

谁卖后悔药!

2010-02-24T22:10:00.002-06:00

完了.. 我觉得我就是昏天黑地不睡觉也做不完了...
后悔前几天昏天黑地地看电视玩游戏写莫名其妙的美容博客!
汪小婷你这个bad influence!! 其实我也是你锅里的老鼠屎扑哈哈 :D
anyways, I heart you, 我八年的朋友!

戴珍珠耳钉的少女

2010-02-24T12:09:00.002-06:00

今天出门前留心戴了深紫色的faux pearl studs和相近颜色的吊坠
每次上完洗手间看到镜子里的自己都会开心自信一点
留心打扮也不是坏事儿噢
就好像合适的文胸会增加女人信心一样

cramming

2010-02-24T00:36:00.000-06:00

明天考试..
又在cram...
拖延拖延..我什么时候才能摆脱你!

面膜日

2010-02-23T02:14:00.002-06:00

每周日周三
面膜日!

一个cleavage引发的惨案

2010-02-21T03:21:00.002-06:00

今天跟爸爸skype
顺便清理电脑屏幕和键盘
突然爸爸讲话很诡异地停顿了好一会儿
抬头看屏幕
惊现cleavage!!!
赶快抬正屏幕
父女俩人虽面不红心在跳
父：你在干嘛？
女：阿我在清理屏幕

---------------------------- --- --- ---->（乌鸦飞过）

Career Fair有感

2010-02-19T22:37:00.004-06:00

今天参加了此生第一个career fair
穿着寒假妈妈买的全套正装信心满满!
虽然前一晚临时抱了充足的佛脚面对HR 还是会轻微口吃心虚不知道自己到底好在哪里
可能我确实没什么好的.
虽说是递出了几份resume 怎么都觉得自己的表现太简单太形式化了完全不impressive
要怎么办才好呢?
自然不是临时抱佛脚就能解决的
发现自己目前很大的问题在于:着眼于外表的东西想方设法地去修饰美化却忽略了其实毫无内容照样是绣花枕头一个
意识到自然是好的. 然而外表的修饰(像写resume/cover letter etc.)往往也总要占据掉我很多的时间/精力一来一去就完全被它们牵着鼻子走了
惰性更是大敌!改进内在(好好读WSJ/好好看书)做起来比想起来要难的多的多,也因此总是虎头蛇尾
我真是个漏洞百出的人阿!

也想了更深远的问题
有理想是好事儿?
我似乎莫名其妙地就在心中奠定理想这辈子非做investment banker不可
可是最近因为找intern的缘故 i-banking的工作太competative 也要保持open-minded 看些别的行业例如asset management, financial advising, 甚至是insurance, etc.
每当看到行业介绍里说 XX职业虽然xxxxxx 但是至少比你干i-banking被老板当苦力使的同学好多了起薪也高也不用做牛做狗没日没夜地做
朋友里面有人考actuarial test都考到第二个了现在才知道insurance company都看你考试到什么程度来招人我呢到几个星期前才知道有这么回事儿...
我也动摇了我要不要也去考呢? 我要不要也考虑当精算师呢? 我的坚持会意味着什么呢愚蠢无知吗?
说到考试再过个一年半载的也应该要开始考虑CFA考试的事儿了否则我看也别想实现什么所谓的梦想了
咳这生活真不是人活的
可是活着不该就是这样的么?

分身术

2010-02-16T04:32:00.001-06:00

今天算是高效了
还是赶作业到5点
我感觉我快变机器人了
有分身术多好!